The Internet Roast Of DG

What’s up Daily Mixer’s! It’s your boy Producer Jim back at it again with my annual article for the Mix, and boy what an article for me to write. This is all about DG and his tardy punishment from last year’s (that’s right 2016) fantasy football league. I think at this point we all are aware of one of his biggest L’s, as if his new team name this year isn’t overcompensating or anything. But finally.. it is time.

After ironing out all the details and going through a ton of Daily Mix red tape, we’ve finally all agreed on a punishment, and that is posting a picture of DG to the Internet’s best roasters, reddit.com/r/roastme.

For those of you not up on r/roastme, it’s simple, and completely consensual as well. In order to qualify to be roasted by the internet’s best, you must follow these simple steps:

  1. Take a picture of yourself with a sign that says ‘r/roastme’
  2. Come up with a witty title about yourself
  3. Stock up on aloe, milk and Tums
  4. Try not to cry

Pretty simple. Now I know a lot of you are saying “Oh how bad can it be, they’re just some internet trolls”, well guess again. I’ve personally seen some of the most brutal and truthful roasts of people in the history of the internet. If you don’t believe me go check it out for yourself, the link I’ve included shows the top scoring posts of all time, so generally they’re the best ones.

Top Posts from reddit.com/r/roastme

So yeah you get the idea. Now a good journalist never reveals his sources, but an insider has confirmed to me that DG is sweating bullets about this post, and rightfully so after dodging a punishment for nearly an entire year. But this isn’t even the best part. We’re gonna leave the post up for a few days, maybe a week, who knows. As long as the roasts keep coming in it’ll be up. Once it’s over, LTS and myself will be hand picking the top roasts and making DG read them aloud to you guys the viewers. So be on the lookout for that as well.

Overall I think this gonna be one of the best things the Mix has done yet, especially since it’s at DG’s (The golden boy lol) expense. Someone needs to knock him down a peg or two. Remember to spread the word and leave your own message for Dan.

The Link is now live. You can check out the reddit post here. Remember no mercy.

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/7b9w9q/kid_lost_his_own_fantasy_football_punishment/ 

DG is ready for ya.

 

-Producer Jim, Daily Mix Report.

DMR Fantasy Football League Power Rankings: Week 7

Another day, another dollar. Here’s where the league stands.

We’re just about halfway through the year. There’s a favorite, a bottom feeder, and a lot of parity in the middle. This week, it’s the 10 word rankings. Each team will be described in 10 words (more or less. It’s been awhile since I’ve done math). Enjoy the rankings.

1. Can’t Lose Again – DG

What a difference a year makes. DG’s back on top.

2. JakePaul Team 10 – Eric The TV Watcher

Took two Ls but he bounced back; low scoring though.

3. Carton’s Scalpers – Luke from Ain’t No Daisy

Monday Night Letdown leads to .500 record; needs win streak.

4. Golden Tate Warriors – LordTreeSap

What a difference a week makes; will momentum be sustained?

5. The Moon’s DowntownBonanza – Nick from Ain’t No Daisy

Nick versus James is the big rivalry this league needs.

6. Ya Moms Sunday Sauce is Ragu – Tommy G

Continues to lose close games; something has got to give.

7. XO Ball Life – Producer Jim

Talk shit, get hit, but Jimbob finally backed it up.

8. Boston TE Party – Sisi

The panic button was not only pushed, it was destroyed.

DMR Fantasy Football League Power Rankings: Week 6

Welcome back to the DMR Fantasy Football League Power Rankings: Week 6.

Let’s take a peek at the standings, shall we?

Everything is still relatively close for this part of the season. There remains one undefeated team, but 3 teams are only 2 games behind so it’s still anyone’s race.

It’s Song Week! Pretend we’re doing American Idol without Sanjaya and everyone has to pick a song. Every team will be compared to a song so plug in the headphones, juice up, and enjoy the rankings.

1. Can’t Lose Again – DG

Last year, Bane broke my back and I lost this league. This year, I have risen. Somehow, someway, Can’t Lose Again still can’t lose. I won’t lie, it’s been an ideal start for your boy. However, I believe in Murphy’s law and something is going to go wrong. It is bound to happen and if I’m not ready for it, I’m in for a huge letdown. So it’s time I made my way back to Gotham to save the day.

2. JakePaul Team 10 – Eric The TV Watcher

Hold on for one more week. After a fast start, Eric the TV Watcher has now lost 2 straight blowouts. He still sits in good shape, but will things go his way? Eric doesn’t seem like the hold on type of guy. He’s a wildcard so I could see him dropping his whole team and picking up brand new players. You never know with the TV Watcher.

3. Carton’s Scalpers – Luke from Ain’t No Daisy

Anything Nick can do, Luke can do better. Luke can do fantasy better than Nick. For a week, for a week. Undertaker came out on top last week as he beat his brother Kane for the rights to Paul Bearer. At 3-2, Lucas is in a good spot as well, but has yet to register 2 wins in a row. Will he stop flip flopping like a pair of Reefs and get some consistency?

4. The Moon’s DowntownBonanza – Nick from Ain’t No Daisy

Gimme gimme points gimme points gimme gimme points. Nick has proven he can grind (out wins) better than a 7th grader at a Teen Canteen. The problem has been points. He’s still in a three-way tie for second, but the man needs to score like it’s prom night.

5. Ya Moms Sunday Sauce is Ragu – Tommy G

*switch Mike out for Shaq* The Italian Stallion got back in the win column after a Monday Night Miracle thanks to Jerrick McKinnon. You take what you can get in fantasy. However, Sunday Sauce runs into me this week so good luck with the Ragu, kid. I’ll take Prego.

6. Golden Tate Warriors – LordTreeSap

Michael noooooooo. Big Mike thought he had the victory in the bag on Monday night. He put his heart into last week, but needless to say, it has been broken. Mike should’ve known better not to chalk up Ws early because anything can happen in fantasy. Be better next time, kid.

7. XO Ball Life – Producer Jim

The man is in the win column! Congrats to Jimmy on the first W on the year. That being said, I’ve never met a more confident 1-4 team in my life. The kid talks more shit than a 13 year old on Call of Duty, but he did back it up last week so tip of the cap to him. Can he make it two straight or will he be eating a slice of humble pie when all is said and done?

8. Boston TE Party – Sisi

It’s been a rough start for young Sisilius. Losing to the only winless team is not ideal, but it was bound to happen after his team dropped the ball last week. If he doesn’t get a win this week, Elton John will be hammering those keys again as he sings the blues.

DMR Fantasy Football League Power Rankings: Week 5

We have a NEW number 1 in the rankings! In fact, we will have a battle for the top spot this week as the top 2 teams will face off. Also, we have the bottom 2 teams squaring off with both clinging on to hope like a single guy when the lights come on at Murphy’s.

In this week’s rankings, I will describe each team with a gif that I feel best describes their ranking.

1. Can’t Lose Again – DG

Dancing GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

From worst to first, Can’t Lose Again still can’t lose *knocks on wood one million times.* Everything seems to be going my way…for now. I know I am going to have a hiccup where I lose 2 straight games and give teams hope. Losing Dalvin Cooks hurts bigly (no typo. It hurts bigly) as I’m light at RB. However, the fast start has definitely helped me so if I can just squeak out a few more wins, we gucci fam.

2. JakePaul Team 10 – Eric The TV Watcher

Season 3 GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

Eric The Tv Watcher remains in 2nd after dropping his first game of the year in a thrashing to Michael. However, Mr. Burns always gets the last laugh and for now, the villain of this league is still in good shape. I honestly have no idea how he’s up this high by starting three Dolphins, but sometimes, it’s better to not ask any questions.

3. The Moon’s DowntownBonanza – Nick from Ain’t No Daisy

Musicals GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

Luck be a lady, TO-NIGHT! Nick is still the 2nd worst scorer in the league, but the man is winning games and right now, that is all that matters. Scratch, claw, fight, bite (hard). You do what you gotta do and at 3-1, Nick is in a favorable position. He has a big matchup this week with Brother Luke. Kane v. Undertaker. The Brothers of Destruction. Only one man can win. Tune in Monday night at 1130 LIVE ON PPV to see who wins.

4. Carton’s Scalpers – Luke from Ain’t No Daisy

Someone is sick and his name is Luke because after losing to the winless Boston TE Party, I would be hurting too. That’s fantasy though. 97 points isn’t a bad showing and Zeke broke out so those are some positives. As I said before, Undertaker has to defeat his brother Kane this week or Luke will rest in peace.

5. Golden Tate Warriors – LordTreeSap

Radio GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

Time to wake up Mike, and that’s exactly what you did. LTS woke up in a big way, scoring the most points in the league last week. LeVeon Bell returning to form is a scary sign so if that keeps up, Mike should shoot up in the rankings.

6. Ya Moms Sunday Sauce is Ragu – Tommy G

Youz say somdin about my mudda’s sauce? Tommy did not have a good Sunday dinner last week as he spilt the marinara in a 3 point loss. That’s a killer especially since he was wearing a white shirt. He’s already off to a poor start with a 12 spot from Tom Brady. Time to pray to the pasta gods.

7. Boston TE Party – Sisi

They always say the hardest win is the first one, but Sis is finally in the win column after dismantling the Undertaker in a buried alive match. The worst thing you can do is bring a team back from the dead and Sisi’s team already has a 22 point league. Can he keep the momentum alive?

8. XO Ball Life – Producer Jim

Sorry Jim. It was not your week again. I was worried at the end of Monday Night’s game, but it just wasn’t meant to be, my friend. The playoffs are still reachable, but it all starts with that first W. Good luck, Producer Jim.

Daily Mix Report Podcast Episode 15 – The Boys Go To The Prom

The Daily Mix Report is now your new home for relationship advice…what?

Prom

Episode 15 is here and we got another good one, folks.

The biggest topic of discussion was prom and in particular, prom proposals. We have absolutely NO idea how we go down these so called romantic tangents. The three of us combined are not Young Casanovas by any means, but somehow we’ve had some great discussions about women and dating. I’m still baffled as to how these conversations start, but that’s the Daily Mix Report for you. We tackle all topics.

The wedding proposals episode was surprisingly a big hit and the prom proposals might have out done it. We all got into how everyone asked their date to prom. We all had different proposals and gave each other grades on our performances. Once again, LTS continued to feed us gold and his prom proposal story did not disappoint. Hint: take a look at the picture. This debate got heated.

It was also Poker Night in the dungeon so the gang talks about playing cards, our NFL Picks contest, the successor to Mike Francesa, and J.R. Smith getting his money.

 

Enjoy

Daily Mix Report Podcast Episode 14 – The Engagement Debate

How (Not) To Propose

Episode 14 is here and we have a good one for you. We do our usual NFL recaps and picks towards the end, talk about our new Facebook page, and worshipped our idol, Conor McGregor.

By far, the hottest discussion of the episode was about engagements and how we would each do our proposals (starts at about 9:30). I don’t want to give too much away, but my jaw dropped at LordTreeSap’s take on proposals. Let’s just say he’s in favor of going to a Knicks game the night of his engagement. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Sorry, ladies. We then talk about online dating and if you should say if you met on Tinder or not. It’s a tough area so tune in for our takes. Enjoy.