Jesus Has Risen Because This Kid Just Walked On Water

Christians have been waiting for over 2000 years for the return of the Messiah and I’m here to say that he is back and better than ever. 2017 Jesus has taken his talents to water parks in order to impress the non-believers.

Seriously, is there any other explanation? I’ve watched this 100 times and I still have no idea how this is possible. He’s perfectly seated on top of the water. I’m no physicist but that’s not supposed to happen.

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“It was at this moment when Cindy witnessed a miracle.”

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The nonchalant pull the shirt over the shoulder / walk away is so cocky that only Jesus could get away with this. There’s no doubt in my mind that this kid walked to the snack stand and turned chicken fingers and Hawaiian Punch into the Eucharist and Wine. I believe, folks! I believe!

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Oh wait. I forgot that this is the 2nd Messiah. That void is already filled by this man.